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作(zuo)者︰shyungchongzeng 來(lai)源︰文(wen)章閱讀網(wang) 時間(jian)︰2020-04-07 15:20 閱讀︰

 Dear Daughter:
親(qin)愛的女兒
  As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind.

當我們開車駛出哥倫比亞大(da)學(xue)的時候,我想寫一封(feng)信給你,告(gao)訴你盤旋在我腦中的想法。

  First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting into Columbia is a real testament of what a great well-rounded student you are. Your academic, artistic, and social skills have truly blossomed in the last few years. Whether it is getting the highest grade in Calculus, completing your elegant fashion design, successfully selling your painted running shoes, or becoming one of the top orators in Model United Nations, you have become a talented and accomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself as we are.

首先,我想告(gao)訴你我們為(wei)你感到(dao)特別驕傲。進入哥倫比亞大(da)學(xue)證明你是一個全面(mian)發展的優秀學(xue)生,你的學(xue)業、藝術和社交技(ji)能(neng)最近都(du)有卓越(yue)的表現,無(wu)論是你在微積分(fen)上(shang)xi)昧俗罡叻fen),完(wan)成自(zi)己(ji)典(dian)雅的時尚的設計(ji),成功(gong)賣(mai)出繪制的跑鞋,還gu)竊 澳mo)擬(ni)聯合國”演說(shuo)中成為(wei)表現最突出的人之一,你毫無(wu)疑問已經是一個多才多藝的女孩。你的父母為(wei)你感到(dao)驕傲,你也應該(gai)像(xiang)我們一樣為(wei)自(zi)己(ji)感到(dao)自(zi)豪(hao)。

  I will always remember the first moment I held you in my arms. I felt a tingling sensation that directly touched my heart. It was an intoxicating feeling I will always have. It must be that "father-daughter connection" which will bind us for life. I will always remember singing you lullaby while I rocked you to sleep. When I put you down, it was always with both relief (she finally fell asleep!) and regret (wishing I could hold you longer). And I will always remember taking you to the playground, and watching you having so much fun. You were so cute and adorable, and that is why everybody loved you so.

我會永遠du)塹玫諞淮謂 惚?詒弁淶哪且豢ke),一種新鮮(xian)激動的感覺(jue)瞬(shun)間(jian)觸動了我的心mo) 鞘且恢鐘澇度夢姨tao)醉的感覺(jue),就是那種將我們的一生都(du)聯結在一起的“父女情結”。我也常(chang)常(chang)想起我唱(chang)著催眠(mian)曲輕搖(yao)你入睡,當我把(ba)你放下的時候,常(chang)常(chang)覺(jue)得既(ji)解脫又惋惜(xi),一方面(mian)我想,她終于睡著了!另一方面(mian),我又多麼希望自(zi)己(ji)可以多抱你一會兒。我還記得帶你到(dao)運動場,看著你玩(wan)得那麼開心,你是那樣可愛,所(suo)有人都(du)非常(chang)愛你。

  You have been a great kid ever since you were born, always quiet, empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. You were three when we built our house. I remember you quietly followed us every weekend for more than ten hours a day to get building supplies. You put up with that boring period without a fuss, happily ate hamburgers every meal in the car, sang with Barney until you fell asleep. When you went to Sunday Chinese school, you studied hard even though it was no fun for you. I cannot believe how lucky we are as parents to have a daughter like you.

你不但長得可愛,而且是個特別乖巧的孩子。你從(cong)不吵鬧、為(wei)人著想,既(ji)听話(hua)又有禮貌。當你三歲(sui)我們建房子的時候,每個周末十多個小時你都(du)靜靜地(di)跟著我們去運建築材料,三餐在車上(shang)吃著漢堡,唱(chang)著兒歌,唱(chang)累了就睡覺(jue),一點都(du)不嬌氣不抱怨。你去上(shang)周日(ri)的中文(wen)學(xue)習班時,盡管(guan)一點也不覺(jue)得有趣(qu),卻依然很努力。我們qin)齦改傅哪neng)有像(xiang)你這樣的女兒真的感到(dao)非常(chang)幸運

  You have been an excellent elder sister. Even though you two had your share of fights, the last few years you have become best friends. Your sister loves you so much, and she loves to make you laugh. She looks up to you, and sees you as her role model. As you saw when we departed, she misses you so much. And I know that you miss her just as much. There is nothing like family, and other than your parents, your sister is the one person who you can trust and confide in. She will be the one to take care of you, and the one you must take care of. There is nothing we wish more than that your sisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and that you will take care of each other throughout your lives. For the next four years, do have a short video chat with her every few days, and do email her when you have a chance.

你也是個很好的姐姐。雖(sui)然你們姐妹(mei)以前也會打架(jia),但是長大(da)後,你們真的成為(wei)了好朋友妹(mei)妹(mei)很愛你,很喜歡逗你笑,她把(ba)你當成shang)陌bang)樣看chuang)N頤強 A href="http://www.duwenzhang.com/huati/likai/index1.html">離開哥大(da)後,她非常(chang)想你,我知道你也很想她。世界(jie)上(shang)最寶貴的就是家(jia)人。和父母一樣,妹(mei)妹(mei)就是你最可以信任的人。隨著年齡的增(zeng)長,你們姐妹(mei)之間(jian)的情誼(yi)不變,你們互相照應,彼此關(guan)心mo) 餼褪俏易釹Mdao)的事情了。在你的大(da)學(xue)四年,有空時你一定要(yao)常(chang)常(chang)跟妹(mei)妹(mei)視頻聊聊天,寫寫電(dian)子郵件。

  College will be the most important years in your life. It is in college that you will truly discover what learning is about. You often question "what good is this course". I encourage you to be inquisitive, but I also want to tell you: "Education is what you have left after all that is taught is forgotten." What I mean by that is the materials taught isn't as important as you gaining the ability to learn a new subject, and the ability to analyze a new problem. That is really what learning in college is about this will be the period where you go from teacher-taught to master-inspired, after which you must become self-learner. So do take each subject seriously, and even if what you learn isn't critical for your life, the skills of learning will be something you cherish forever.

大(da)學(xue)將是你人生最重要(yao)的時光,在大(da)學(xue)里你會發現學(xue)習的真諦。你以前經常(chang)會問到(dao) “這個課程(cheng)有什麼cong)謾保 饈歉齪夢侍猓  俏蟻M 斫猓骸敖jiao)育(yu)的真諦就是當你忘記一切(qie)所(suo)學(xue)到(dao)的東西之後所(suo)剩下的東西。”我的意(yi)思是,最重要(yao)的不是你學(xue)到(dao)的具體的知識,而是你學(xue)習新事物(wu)和解決(jue)新問題的能(neng)力。這才是大(da)學(xue)學(xue)習的真正意(yi)義——這將是你從(cong)被動學(xue)習轉向(xiang)自(zi)主學(xue)習的階段,之後你會變成一個很好的自(zi)學(xue)者。所(suo)以,即便你所(suo)學(xue)的不是生活里所(suo)急需(xu)的mo) 慘yao)認真看chuang)da)學(xue)里的每一門功(gong)課,就算學(xue)習的技(ji)能(neng)你會忘記,學(xue)習的能(neng)力是你將受(shou)用終身(shen)的。

  Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no single simple answer to any question. Remember during your high school debate class, I always asked you to take on the side that you don't believe in? I did that for a reason -- things rarely "black and white", and there are always many ways to look at a problem. You will become a better problem solver if you recognized that. This is called "critical thinking", and it is the most important thinking skill you need for your life. This also means you need to become tolerant and supportive of others. I will always remember when I went to my Ph.D. advisor and proposed a new thesis topic. He said "I don't agree with you, but I'll support you." After the years, I have learned this isn't just flexibility, it is encouragement of critical thinking, and an empowering style of leadership, and it has become a part of me. I hope it will become a part of you too.

不要(yao)被教(jiao)條所(suo)束縛,任何問題都(du)沒有一個唯一的簡單的答案。還記得當我幫助你高中的辯論課程(cheng)時,我總是讓你站在你不認可的那一方來(lai)辯論嗎?我這麼做的理由就是希望你能(neng)夠理解︰看chuang)桓鑫侍獠揮Ωgai)非黑即白,而是有很多方法和角(jiao)度。當你意(yi)識到(dao)這點的時候,你就會成為(wei)一個很好的解決(jue)問題者。這就是“批判的思維(wei)”——你的一生都(du)會需(xu)要(yao)的最重要(yao)的思考方式,這也意(yi)味著你還需(xu)要(yao)包容和支持(chi)不同于你的其他(ta)觀點。我永遠du)塹夢胰?椅業牟┤康際μ岢雋艘桓魴侶么猓 ta)告(gao)訴我︰“我不同意(yi)你,但我支持(chi)你。”多年後,我認xian)兜dao)這不僅僅是包容,而是一種批判式思考,更是令人折服的領導風格(ge),現在這也變成了我的一部分(fen)。我希望這也能(neng)成為(wei)你的一部分(fen)。

  Follow your passion in college. Take courses you think you will enjoy. Don't be trapped in what others think or say. Steve Jobs says when you are in college, your passion will create many dots, and later in your life you will connect them. In his great speech given at Stanford commencement, he gave the great example where he took calligraphy, and a decade later, it became the basis of the beautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desktop publishing, and brought wonderful tools like Microsoft Word to our lives. His expedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintosh became the connecting line. So don't worry too much about what job you will have, and don't be too utilitarian, and if you like Japanese or Korean, go for it, even if your dad thinks "it's not useful" : ) Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you will find your calling, and connect a beautiful curve through the dots.

在大(da)學(xue)里你要(yao)追隨自(zi)己(ji)的激情和興趣(qu),選你感興趣(qu)的課程(cheng),不要(yao)困擾于別人怎麼說(shuo)或怎麼想。史蒂夫•喬布斯曾經說(shuo)過(guo),在大(da)學(xue)里你的熱(re)情會創(chuang)造(zao)出很多點,在你隨後的生命中你會把(ba)這些點串聯起來(lai)chu)T謁ta)著名的斯坦福畢業典(dian)禮演講中,他(ta)舉了一個很好的例(li)子︰他(ta)在大(da)學(xue)里修了看似毫無(wu)用處的書法,而十年後,這成了隻(ping)果Macintosh里漂亮字庫的基礎(chu),而因為(wei)Macintosh有這麼好的字庫,才帶來(lai)了桌面(mian)出版和今天的辦公軟(ruan)件(例(li)如(ru)微軟(ruan)Office)。他(ta)對書法的探索就是一個點,而隻(ping)果Macintosh把(ba)多個點聯結成了一條線(xian)。所(suo)以不要(yao)太擔心將來(lai)你要(yao)做什麼樣的mu)?zuo),也不要(yao)太急功(gong)近利(li)。假如(ru)你喜歡日(ri)語或韓(han)語,就去學(xue)吧,即使你爸爸曾認為(wei)那沒什麼cong)茫海┘︵說(shuo)di)選擇你的點吧,要(yao)有信念有一天機緣來(lai)臨時,你會找到(dao)自(zi)己(ji)的人生使命,畫出一條美(mei)麗的曲線(xian)。

  Do your best in classes, but don't let pressure get to you. Your mother and I have no expectations for your grades. If you graduate and learn something in your four years, we would feel happy. Your Columbia degree will take you far, even if you don't graduate with honors. So please don't give yourself pressure. During your last few months in high school, you were so happy because there was little pressure and college applications are finished. But in the past few weeks, we saw you are beginning to worry (did you know you bite your nails when you are nervous?). Please don't be worried. The only thing that matters is that you learned. The only metric you should use is that you tried. Grades are just silly letters that give the vain people something to brag, and the lazy people something to fear. You are too good to be either.

在功(gong)課上(shang)要(yao)盡力,但不要(yao)給自(zi)己(ji)太多壓力。你媽媽和我在成績(ji)上(shang)對你沒什麼要(yao)求,只要(yao)你能(neng)順利(li)畢業並在這四年里學(xue)到(dao)了些東西,我們就會很高興了。即便你畢業時沒有獲(huo)得優異(yi)的成績(ji),你的哥倫比亞學(xue)位(wei)也將帶你走得很遠。所(suo)以別給自(zi)己(ji)壓力。在你高中生活的最後幾個月,因為(wei)壓力比較小,大(da)學(xue)申請也結束了,你過(guo)得很開心mo)  竊謐 募父魴瞧冢 愫孟xiang)開始緊張起來(lai)chu)# 闋 yi)到(dao)你緊張時會咬(yao)指甲嗎?)千(qian)萬別擔心mo) 鈧匾yao)的是你在學(xue)習,你需(xu)要(yao)的唯一衡(heng)量是你的努力程(cheng)度。成績(ji)只不過(guo)是虛榮的人用以吹噓和慵懶(lan)的人所(suo)恐懼的無(wu)聊數(shu)字而已,而你既(ji)不虛榮也不慵懶(lan)。

  Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friends are often the best in life, because during college you are closer to them physically than to your family. Also, going through independence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience. Pick a few friends and become really close to them pick the ones who are genuine and sincere to you. Don't worry about their hobbies, grades, looks, or even personalities. You have developed some real friendships in high school in your last two years, so trust your instinct, and make new friends. You are a genuine and sincere person anyone would enjoy being your friend, so be confident, outgoing, and pro-active. If you think you like someone, tell her. You have very little to lose. Give people the benefit of the doubt; don't stereotype and be forgiving. People are not perfect, so as long as they are genuine and sincere, trust them and be good to them. They will give back. This is my secret of success that I am genuine with people and trust them (unless they do something to lose my trust). Some people tell me that occasionally I would be taken advantage of. They are right, but I can tell you that that loss is nothing compared to what I gained. In my last 18 years leading people, I have realized that only one thing matters to gain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you need to trust and respect others first. Whether it is for management, work, or friendship, this is something you should ponder.

最重要(yao)的是在大(da)學(xue)里你要(yao)交一些朋友,快樂生活。大(da)學(xue)的朋友往(wang)往(wang)是生命中最好的朋友,因為(wei)在大(da)學(xue)里你和朋友能(neng)夠近距離交往(wang)。另外(wai),在一塊兒成長,一起獨(du)lan)  蘢zi)然地(di)你們就會緊緊地(di)系(xi)在一起,成為(wei)密(mi)友。你應該(gai)挑選一些真誠誠懇的朋友,跟他(ta)們親(qin)近,別在乎他(ta)們的愛好、成績(ji)、外(wai)表甚至(zhi)性格(ge)。你在高中的最後兩年已經交到(dao)了一些真正的朋友,所(suo)以盡可以相信自(zi)己(ji)的直覺(jue),再交一些新朋友吧。你是一個真誠xi)娜耍 魏穩碩du)會喜歡跟你做朋友的mo) suo)以要(yao)自(zi)信、外(wai)向(xiang)、主動一點,如(ru)果你喜歡某人,就告(gao)訴她,就算她拒絕(jue)了,你也沒有損失什麼chu)R宰畬da)的善意(yi)去對人,不要(yao)有成見,要(yao)寬(kuan)容。人無(wu)完(wan)人,只要(yao)他(ta)們很真誠,就信任他(ta)們,對他(ta)們友善。他(ta)們將給你相同的回(hui)報,這是我成功(gong)的秘密(mi)——我以誠待人,信任他(ta)人(除非他(ta)們qin)雋聳 龐諼業氖攏 S腥爍gao)訴這樣有時我會被佔便宜(yi),他(ta)們是對的mo)  俏銥梢願gao)訴你︰以誠待人讓我得到(dao)的遠遠超過(guo)我失去的。在我做管(guan)理的18年里,我學(xue)到(dao)一件很重要(yao)的事——要(yao)想得到(dao)他(ta)人shuo)男湃魏妥鷸兀 揮邢熱(re)?湃魏妥鷸廝ta)人。無(wu)論是管(guan)理、工作(zuo)、交友,這點都(du)值得你參考。

  Do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them, but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and do not spend too much time with them, because that would eat into your time to make new friends.

要(yao)和你高中時代(dai)的朋友保持(chi)zhi) xi),但是不要(yao)用他(ta)們來(lai)取代(dai)大(da)學(xue)的友誼(yi),也不要(yao)把(ba)全部的時間(jian)都(du)花在老朋友身(shen)上(shang),因為(wei)那樣你就會失去交新朋友的機會了。

  Start planning for your summers early what would you like to do? Where would you like to live? What would you like to learn? What have you learned in college that might change your mind? I think your plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decide where you want to be, and get into the right courses. We of course hope you come back to Beijing, but you should go where you think is best for you.

你還要(yao)早點開始規劃你的暑(shu)假——你想做什麼?你想呆在哪兒?你想學(xue)點什麼?你在大(da)學(xue)里學(xue)習是否(fu)會讓你有新的打算?我覺(jue)得你學(xue)習藝術設計(ji)的計(ji)ping) 懿淮恚 閿Ωgai)想好你該(gai)去哪兒學(xue)習相應的課程(cheng)。我們當然希望你回(hui)到(dao)北京,但是qin)鈧盞木jue)定是你的。

  Whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, or picking a major, or managing your time, you should take control of your life. In the past, I have helped you quite a bit, whether it is in college application, designing your extracurricular activities, or picking the initial coursework. I will always be there for you, but the time has come for you to be in the driver's seat this is your life, and you need to be in control. I will always remember the exhilarating feeling in my life that I got to decide to skip kindergarten, that I got to decide to change to computer science major, that I got to decide to leave academia for Apple, that I got to decide to go to China, that I got to decide to go to Google, and most recently, that I got to decide to start my own business. Being able to decide means you get to live the life that you want to. Life is too short to live the life others do or others want you. Being in control feels great. Try it, and you'll love it!

不管(guan)是暑(shu)假計(ji)ping)  gong)課規劃,抑或是選專業,管(guan)理時間(jian),你都(du)應該(gai)負責你的人生。過(guo)去不管(guan)是申請學(xue)校、設計(ji)課外(wai)活動或者選擇最初的課程(cheng),我都(du)從(cong)旁幫助了你不少。以後,我仍(reng)然會一直站你身(shen)旁,但是現在是你自(zi)己(ji)掌舵的時候了。我常(chang)常(chang)記起我生命中那qie)├釗甦穹艿氖笨ke)——在幼(you)兒園決(jue)定跳(tiao)級(ji),決(jue)定轉到(dao)計(ji)算機科學(xue)專業,決(jue)定離開學(xue)術界(jie)選擇Apple,決(jue)定回(hui)中國,決(jue)定選擇Google,乃至(zhi)最近選擇創(chuang)辦我的新公司。有能(neng)力進行選擇意(yi)味著你會過(guo)上(shang)自(zi)己(ji)想要(yao)的生活。生命太短(duan)暫了,你不能(neng)過(guo)別人想要(yao)你過(guo)的生活。掌控(kong)自(zi)己(ji)的生命是很棒的感覺(jue),試試吧,你會愛上(shang)它的mo)

  I told your mom I'm writing this letter, and asked what she wanted me to say. She thought and said: "just ask her to take care of herself." Simple but deeply caring that is how your mother is, and that is why you love her so much. In this simple sentence is her hope that you will become independent in the way you take care of yourself that you will remember to take your medicine, that you will get enough sleep, that you will have a balanced diet, that you will get some exercise, and that you will go see a doctor whenever you don't feel good. An ancient Chinese proverb says that the most important thing to be nice to your parents is to take care of yourself. This is because your parents love you so much, and that if you are well, they will have comfort. You will understand this one day when you become a mother. But in the meantime, please listen to your mother and take care of yourself.

我告(gao)訴你媽媽我在寫這封(feng)信,問她有什麼想對你說(shuo)的mo) 肓訟耄 shuo)“讓她好好照顧自(zi)己(ji)”,很簡單卻飽含著真切(qie)的mu)匭摹  庖幌xiang)是你深愛的媽媽的特點。這短(duan)短(duan)的一句話(hua),是她想提醒你很多事情,比re)ru)要(yao)記得自(zi)己(ji)按時吃藥,好好睡覺(jue),保持(chi)健康的飲食chang) 柿吭碩  皇娣氖焙蛞yao)去看醫生等等。中國有句古語,說(shuo)“身(shen)體發膚(fu),受(shou)之父母,不敢毀傷(shang),孝之始jia)病薄U餼浠hua)的意(yi)思用比較新的方法詮gu)shi)就是說(shuo)︰父母最愛的就是你,所(suo)以照顧好自(zi)己(ji)就是qie)?匙詈玫姆椒 5蹦慍晌wei)母親(qin)的那天,你就會理解這些。在那天之前,听媽媽的mo) 鬩歡ㄒyao)好好照顧自(zi)己(ji)。

  College is the four years where you have:

  •the greatest amount of free time

大(da)學(xue)是你自(zi)由時間(jian)最多的四年。

  •the first chance to be independent

大(da)學(xue)是你第一次學(xue)會獨(du)lan) 乃哪輟

  •the most flexibility to change

大(da)學(xue)是可shang)芐宰釙康乃哪輟

  •the lowest risk for making mistakes

大(da)學(xue)是犯錯代(dai)價最低的四年。

  So please treasure your college years make the best of your free time, become an independent thinker in control of your destiny, evolve yourself into a bi-cultural talent, be bold to experiment, learn and grow through your successes and challenges.

所(suo)以,珍惜(xi)你的大(da)學(xue)時光吧,好好mei)媚愕目障惺奔jian),成為(wei)掌握自(zi)己(ji)命運的獨(du)lan)?伎頰擼  棺zi)己(ji)的多元(yuan)化才能(neng),大(da)膽地(di)去嘗試,通過(guo)不斷xi)某曬gong)和挑戰(zhan)來(lai)學(xue)習和成長,成為(wei)融(rong)匯中西的人shun)擰

  When I faced the greatest challenge and opportunity in my life in 2005, you gave me a big hug and said "bonne chance", which means "good luck" and "good courage". Now I do the same for you. Bonne chance, my angel and princess. May Columbia become the happiest four years in your life, and may you blossom into just what you dream to be.

當我在2005年面(mian)對人生最大(da)的挑戰(zhan)時,你給了我大(da)大(da)的擁抱,還跟我yi)盜艘瘓浞ㄓ鎩onne chance”。這句話(hua)代(dai)表“祝你勇敢,祝你好運!”現在,我也想跟你說(shuo)同樣的話(hua),bonne chance,我的天使和公主,希望哥倫比亞成為(wei)你一生中最快樂的四年,希望你成為(wei)你夢想成為(wei)的人!

      Love,
      愛你的mo)

      Dad (& Mom)

      爸爸(和媽媽)


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